iMarriage: When people let you down, objectify your love


I must admit I’m absolutely floored by this concept, but apparently it’s not that new. Sure, I say I love my iPhone and my iPad and my MacBook — I’ve said the same about some other gadgets throughout the years. But, I have ALWAYS meant it in a purely platonic way. I swear.

Apparently, others have a much deeper relationship with their things. People known as “objectophiles” or “objectum sexuals” believe in reciprocal loving, sexual relationships with inanimate objects. Go figure.

(I’m sure this would complicate the whole simplicity thing and make jettisoning your stuff more difficult.) It will make me look at those with pack-rat issues in a whole new light — whether I want to or not!

And now there is a website to actually MARRY your iDevices. And a petition to sign to make the vows legal in all 50 states.

Let me just say… uh… NO.