Tag Archives: family

Living on the Farm

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A Heart full of Freedom

Freedom: A Heart-felt Sentiment

I moved from Lexington to the farm at the end of October. In the first couple of weeks, we got electric, a septic hooked up, floors finished upstairs, most of the woodwork complete and a shower that actually sprays HOT water on me when I want to get clean… all in my little cabin in the woods.

That’s a LOT of progress, but there’s still a lot more to go. In the last week, I’ve secured a way to get Internet on the farm (using a Verizon Wireless MiFi 2200 Mobile Wi-Fi Modem), which thrills me, since I’ve tried everything else known to man with limited success. Now I can work where I live again. JOY! My biggest concern now is the monthly bill — not the ability to connect. That actually makes me really happy!

I’ve also had the opportunity to travel quite a bit in the late summer and early fall. On the weekends, I’ve traveled to see band competitions, I spent the last part of the summer riding on the back of a motorcycle every chance I got, and I’ve had some of the best conversations in recent memory. Life is pretty darn good.

I’m spending time with a wonderful man who makes me feel like HE’S the tech-geek between the two of us and like I’m some kind of political liberal or something (that’s new!) I’ve never dated anyone who knew more about computers, current events or politics than I do. I must admit, it’s nice to be intellectually engaged in daily conversations.

Alex is loving life on the farm and seems happier than she’s been in ages. She also has a pet – a black Lab named “Max” and she spends every chance she gets running in the woods and dancing in the creek with him.

The downstairs still needs some work, but it’s coming together. I have a great subcontractor that doesn’t say “you can’t” or “I don’t know how” to anything I request. That’s pretty cool. Nevermind that I spend so much time with and on the phone with the contractor that my actual boyfriend calls him my “other” boyfriend. :)

I’m planning my garden for the spring, hoping to survive the dust from the construction until we can call it done (hopefully by January), am homeschooling Alex and am taking care of a few choice clients.

December will ramp up homeschooling since the move and all the work we have had to do out here hasn’t been conducive to traditional academics. Alex has learned quite a bit about construction, how a septic system works, how to plant lily of the valley bulbs (several bags full), how to manage recycle vs. burn vs. garbage dump materials from household waste, how to paint walls and how to scrub mortar off freshly laid floor tiles.

It’s all good stuff to know, but rather difficult to document in a lesson plan. Her daily journal, math lessons and constant reading are the only steadfast “lessons” of a traditional nature that have survived this November on the farm. December will be more “traditional” once again.

I’m not taking on any new clients right now and am perfectly happy to serve the ones I have. It’s enough. I don’t have to make money 24/7 to be comfortable on the farm and as the construction costs end and the house gets settled, it will take even less.

I can’t think of a time when I’ve been happier. I literally wake up every morning delighted with my life. I’m not even waiting for the other shoe to fall — I’m just happy. I smile all the time… so much that people comment about it. It’s weird.

There’s much to do and life is going at a break-neck pace with all the projects (both professional and personal) that I have in progress at the moment… but I know that it’s only a SHORT period of time before life slows to a manageable, almost leisurely pace. And the chances are pretty good that it will remain relatively relaxed.

I’m really looking forward to getting the downstairs finished and getting in a kitchen that’s full-size, not the temporary one I am hobbling by with now. It may take all of December and all of January, but this cabin will be exactly what I always knew it could be!

Next week, I’m picking up the van and I’ll then have a little “playhouse” on wheels for weekend trips and the joy of going where ever I want and coming back when I’m darn good and ready. It’s silly for a grown woman to want to have a playhouse, but that’s what it is and I WANT IT!

Freedom. Yeah, that’s the word. That’s what I’m feeling these days, an overwhelming WAVE, a warm and comfy quilt, an entire environment of freedom.

It’s nice.

Enjoying Tough Times: Home, Meals and Simple Pleasures

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One Sunday harvest from one tomato vine.

One Sunday harvest from one tomato vine.

The economy sucks. It’s horrible out there. People are losing jobs in record numbers. The “basics” cost more now — a LOT more — than they did just a couple years ago. It’s harder to make ends meet than it has been in recent memory. And, according to the “experts” (and my own gut), it’s not going to get better anytime soon.

So why am I enjoying this mess?

It’s put me back in touch with some of the things that it’s easy to forget… like how to enjoy the simple pleasures. It makes me remember that it’s much easier to save money than to make it. It becomes glaringly obvious how much better life is when people pull together to make things easier instead of wandering apart.

Case in point — I’m cooking again. Dating someone with kids and having my own grown children nearby has expanded my “standard” meal from a quick two-person deal (for my daughter and me this time last year) to a five or six-person meal… often expanded by one or two more than that!

I’m keeping a tight rein on the health aspects of the cooking for varied (and necessary) reasons. I enjoy seeing the differences in the way the people around the table are trimming down, pumping up with energy, and feeling as good as they look. I’m cooking from scratch most of the time. Almost nothing goes to waste.

Despite the tough economic times, I’m not pushing as hard as I once did. My client load has lightened and I’m taking it in stride. I enjoy expanding my “daily” work to things outside the office. I don’t spend 16-18 hours in front of the computer these days. Honestly, it’s nice.

I have a tiny garden to tend. Mostly it’s just herbs, tomatoes and chard (oh, and weeds) … but it’s amazing how much has come out of that little patch of earth. My Roma tomatoes have escaped the blight that many gardeners in the area have endured with their own tomatoes. That one vine has produced enough for us to have fresh tomatoes at one or two meals a day, and I’ve had extras that I’ve used in cooking. The other vines haven’t done much — other than provide some HUGE green tomatoes for deep-south lovin’ green fried tomatoes (only once this year, so far.)

I’ve probably spent less money on fluff in the past four months than I have in years and I don’t miss shopping… at ALL. I like finding ways to make our food budget shrink while our food quality soars. I enjoy scouring Craigslist and the local Goodwill for the things we need or want around the house.

Yeah, I’m nesting. I know this. I have an appreciative audience, which helps enormously. And the best thing about all of this? We all sit down three times a day together and “break bread.” We have family time without a television or even a radio. We sit and eat and talk. Yeah, TALK. We do this several times a day… EVERY day. We are getting closer all the time. It’s nice and I notice the effects on interpersonal relationships around the house.

I think the speed with which we are accustomed to living life has not been a benefit to family life. I think grabbing something at a drive through, munching whatever can be found in the fridge while watching TV and sink-hovering to devour “fuel” for our bodies has starved our souls.

I like working together, pulling together to make life better with less. Yeah, I’m a simplicity girl… but it’s nice to have a whole group of people working together to make the most of everything. It’s truly joyful.

So if you wonder why I’m smiling so broadly while everyone else is cursing the “hard times” — now you know. ;)

A sparkly, glowing 2009

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Every year, every January 1st, I have this great hope that the upcoming year will be a bright and beautiful one. For years, I’ve been less than pleased with the results. This year, I’m already happy with the new year.

Well, that may be a bit misleading since my life started getting REALLY good (for no particular, identifiable reason) about the middle of last month. Decembers usually suck for me. It’s a fact. But this one was lovely.

I’m not sure what it was. I’m not sure what was different. Maybe it’s that I worked to eliminate stress. Maybe it’s that I actually completed my taxes before going on a two week vacation for the holidays.

Maybe it’s that I’ve quit stressing over the fact that I’m not living on the farm. I realize now that despite the fact that I have to wait for Internet to reach the farm (and not the slower-than-dial-up satellite I can get there now), before I can move there full-time — that it WILL happen. I’ll live there again.

It’s hit me that knowing my “end game” — that I’ll end up on the farm — makes when that happens less important. It could be next year or in three decades. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that between now and then, I’ve got a life that should be viewed as adventure. And I have a place to land when I’m ready to quit adventuring. A place that belongs to me.

I have one child still at home and my biggest concern for her is her education. If I have to move to get her what she needs, I’ll do it. It’s an adventure.

If I need to home school her (although I prefer not to do that, since she’s soon going to need much more depth and breadth than I can do easily while working full-time), I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever is in her best interest.

I have seven more years before she’s out on her own, and my job as an active parent is over. Then I’ll be more of an “adviser” parent to her — like I am to the boys. Of course, she may want that advice more than they do… or she may not.

I’ve spent my life planning for tomorrow and failing to really live in the today.

Suddenly, in the past three weeks or so, I’ve gotten much better at living in the now. I’m doing what’s required to lessen my debts, the mass of details I’m juggling, the number of belongings I have to maintain. The whole process has been quite liberating. I’ve simplified my business life considerably. I’m working now on continuing the progress on the personal side. Simple is best. Always has been.

I’ve preached simplicity for years, but I’m just now making real headway toward it on an elemental level for myself.

So life is good and 2009, despite my misgivings over the economy and politics of the current day, is looking pretty good for me. It’s ironic. I’m not going to investigate the why too long. I like things the way they are now and feel no urge to over-analyze it.

Now THAT’s new.

Sometimes my lack of maturity smacks me in the face

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You would think, by now, I’d be old enough to know better…

Sometimes, I expect the world to be fair and for other people to observe the golden rule. Just because you put your personal differences aside and do the right thing when it comes to someone else, even if you have to grit your teeth to do it, doesn’t mean that very same person in a remarkably similar reversal, will do the same thing. I should just know that by now, right? Maybe this time I’ve actually learned that. Maybe. Hey, it could happen!

Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying something nasty. (My mother taught me that one.) So when I say nothing and say nothing and count to 100 and say nothing…. when does the goading stop? Does an ulcer signify success? Would taking up kick-boxing help… at all?

My father was the one that always said “Life’s not fair” — and I always argued. But you know what? He was right. Life isn’t fair. And, like parenting, no one gives you a manual. You, me and everyone else, just have to wing it, do what we can and hope for the best.

I laughed when both my parents told me that “parenting adults is harder than parenting children.” I felt the sting of the words aimed at me, while I complained about the messes my tiny children made and how hard it was to have two boys so close together in age and to literally start over again with a girl 10 years after the eldest boy was born. They didn’t understand, I assured myself… they never had THREE kids and they never tried to do it alone. I was wrong. They were right. ‘Nuff said.

So here I sit… trying to figure out how to learn to “let go” of the things I can’t do anything about and there I go… searching under every un-turned rock to find the wisdom to know the difference. Here I am, waiting for a miracle, a revelation, a tiny sliver of insight so I can figure out what my role is and if, indeed, I still have one in so many situations that find me lately.

In the meantime, while I impatiently await enlightenment, maybe I can be mature enough to quit worrying about everyone else and give myself permission to just take care of me and the one child I have left who is still under legal age.

Maybe now is the time to quit wringing my hands about all the things I failed to do perfectly, and start enjoying life a little more. Maybe today is the day I finally reach a comfortable level of maturity and realize that being a little more selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing… maybe it’s a bit more like self-preservation. Maybe that’s what it really means to be mature. Maybe.

I’m Feeling Politically Unpopular Today

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To say I’m pleased with the election results would be a lie.

I’m deeply concerned about this country, probably more so than I have ever been in any given election. I get the feeling that many people voted the way they did because they saw it as a way to shirk their responsibilities.

The thing that keeps coming to mind is the lady who, at the celebratory victory rally, said that she was glad she no longer had to worry about her mortgage or her car payment.

I’m assuming she intends to KEEP both of these items, she just doesn’t want to pay for them anymore. So, by default (isn’t that a great pun?!?) those of us who are responsible and DO pay our bills will get to pay hers as well? Maybe our children and grandchildren can kick in to support (with interest) the quality of life to which she has become accustomed, but no longer desires to afford?

It reminds me of the time when I was in a grocery line with my mother in Danville, Kentucky. The lady in front of us was wearing diamond rings and an “Aigner” coat (which was all the rage at that time), a matching purse and shoes.

These were things that we couldn’t justify (my mother has always been so practical — thank goodness!). When she tried to check out the dog food with her food stamps, she was told that it wasn’t permitted. Her response? She said her dog preferred hamburger anyway — and promptly left the line, went to the meat department, got a 10 pound roll of ground beef and returned to be checked out — while we all stood in awe, mouths agape.

I think that was a pivotal moment in my development. I was probably 12 or 13. It has colored my glasses about welfare programs and these glasses aren’t rosy. I feel that what we have here, is an even bigger version of the same mentality. Put simply, it makes me angry.

When are people going to be responsible and quit expecting the government to parent them?

Some of the propositions that passed also alarm me. I really don’t believe it’s the government’s job to dictate morality, define “family” and determine what is ok in our bedrooms. Apparently, that puts me squarely in the minority these days, too.

Most of my clients and friends are fiscally and politically conservative (with a few notable exceptions). One of my friends commented today, “Welcome to the USSA.” I have to wonder if he’s right.

On another note, the “Civilian National Security Force” scares the crap out of me. It simply does.

So, I’m sitting quietly here in my home office, wondering why I’ve spent my life paying my bills, meeting my obligations (even when people who supposedly share those obligations don’t do their part to help), trying to stay out of debt and avoiding “welfare” type programs — even during those really hard times in my life when I qualified.

I’ve always believed that freedom mattered more than security. I’ve believed in making your own way and cutting back when times were lean. I’ve always been capable of making the tough decisions. I’ve tried to pass this on to my children (whether or not I did this successfully is yet to be seen.)

I wonder “what’s the use?” when people who didn’t behave responsibly are getting bailouts. Like another one of my friends recently quipped, “Where’s my friggin’ financial bailout?!?”

*Not that I’d want one if it cost me my freedom or my privacy — or made me beholden to someone as a result, mind you*

We aren’t educating our children in our schools anymore, I worry that now all we have to educate them is our example… and if that’s the case, we are probably totally screwed.

I think I’m going to go try to find my old weather-beaten copy of 1984 for a quick re-read. I think it’s time.