I’ve completely fallen off the blogging wagon. I can show you the bruises…
Over the past year, I’ve let my blogging slide. I’ve found a few other ways to express my verbal tendencies — one of which may well be raising my voice to all the children that are now a part of my daily life. It’s odd to go from the responsibility of a single charge to a houseful of people in a matter of just a few months.
I laughed to my mother the other day that I was looking forward to the time when it would just be the six of us. Now, consider that statement for a moment if you will… “I’m looking forward to when it will just be the SIX of us…” Wow. Never would have thought I’d ever be saying anything like that. Not in my wildest dreams… but here I am. Even more amazing… I’m happy to be here!
When you are a single parent and you become serious about another single parent… and you both have “adoption” tendencies… the house gets really full, really fast. He has four and I have three and there’s a handful of “adopted” children between us. And, we have had a family member with failing health move in as well. So, yeah, I’ll be glad when it’s just the six of us — my daughter, his son and daughter (all under legal age), the family member, him and me.
The others — all technically adults, but not quite “adult” yet — will be moving out soon. And, then we can get back into the swing of a “normal-for-us” family routine. We may have to create our own “normal” at that point.
It was so funny last month when my sister invited my crew to a birthday “thing” to celebrate my mother’s birthday (and my own).
My sister who has her hands full with her own daily life involving only one adult and one child in her home, decided to cook for my whole crew, her family and our folks. About mid-way through the meal, she got up from the table to tend to some of the food, blew a strand of hair out of her face in exasperation and said, “I don’t know how you do it! I’ve been cooking for two days for this one meal!”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my crew likes to eat three times a day… plus snacks. I also resisted the wicked urge to tell her that I was also working 30-35 hours a week with the Census (I’m a recruiter) and that was in addition to the full-time job of running my writing business and tending my marketing clients.
Yeah, life is busy and having my sister give me props provided me a great deal of joy, I must admit.
So, even though I’m journaling in tiny little blurbs (on my iPhone, no less) to keep a record of what I do and when I do it, I’m not doing much of the standard writing that I’ve always done. I have been able to do a bit more on the novel than I expected — but only because when I have to choose between screaming and cursing or writing… I choose writing. And, at that point, I seldom choose the blog as the platform.
After all, when I’m feeling all angsty and full and angry… I’m pretty darn creative. And, what I have to say is better said as fiction, not as a rant on my blog — right?!? 🙂
I’m trying to determine how to continue to juggle all the balls that keep flying into the air over my head. So far, I’ve been too busy with that to worry too much over the fact that my regular blog has primarily been good for creating feelings of guilt and failure over the last few months.
I’m wondering if I should work on some of the fiction here on the blog or if I should continue to keep it under wraps and work on it in private… by candlelight, under the covers, when no one is looking… as is my habit.
For now, I’m trying to keep my sanity until the household thins out and I can determine (in a more logical way) what my personal and professional priorities are — aside from the familial obligations. And I’m working on getting my infamous “systems” in place to make daily life a bit easier so I have more free time. Maybe, someday soon, I’ll have fewer minute, inane, insipid questions and slews of blasted decisions that have to be answered, made or handled every few minutes.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to recapture a “flow” in life that will allow me to write more. Maybe…*sigh*