I think I just aged about a decade. Me, with a son… that’s now an ADULT! I now have “adult children”… go figure! And my parents have always told me… “You think it’s tough now? Wait until they are adults… and you watch them, and have to keep quiet… and you have NO control… and no misconceptions that you might have any.”
Well, that’s where I am now.
My son, Nicholas, is not only 18, he’s now tattooed (don’t ask me … you don’t wanna know my view on this one.. sigh) and he’s enlisted in the Army. My baby boy (now towering over my own height of 5’7″ by a good six inches) is headed to basic training in September. He wants to be an Airborne Ranger. He wants to “blow stuff up.” (His statement, not mine). Double sigh.
But, this does… finally… help me to make sense of why he liked destroying things as a child. He was fascinated with deconstruction… demolition… taking things apart… sometimes fast, sometimes slow… but everything the boy touched had to come to pieces. Occasionally he would rebuild it but, more often than not, it was a one way street. He took it apart and lost interest in it… preferring to move on to something still IN one piece.
LOL. Ahhh, the joys of boys. And now, I find myself wishing he were still deconstructing my things around the house, despite the fussing I did about it at the time. Now, I have bigger concerns. I’m worried about him going to war… and I know that the chances are good that’s where he will go. To fight for a war that I believe we should never have started.
Don’t get me wrong… I’ve always, ALWAYS supported our troops. They are the people dedicated enough to clean up messes that aren’t theirs because it is their duty. That takes character and drive that I’m not sure I would have in their same shoes. But, my support of our troops in no way crosses over to my support of our Commander in Chief. *rolls eyes at the title itself — when attached to the current White House occupant*
So, my baby is now a man. And he’s moving on with his life. I’m proud of you, Nicholas. REALLY proud. But I’ll miss the baby that you were and the child that my memory will always hold. I look forward to getting to know the man that you are quickly becoming. You are destined to be a pretty interesting individual. And, I look forward to transitioning from a “parent-child” relationship to an “adult-adult” relationship…. well, most of the time I am. Is it ok if I still miss the you that you were, while I watch you become the you that you are?
Love you and godspeed, dear.